Domestic Church

My parents have sent me to Catholic school since pre-school so they have always wanted me to have an influence from the Catholic Church in my education. My parents and I used to go to Church together every Sunday morning but that has been happening less frequently over the years and now we really only say grace before holiday dinners. My grandmom was always the strongest religious influence in my life. She taught me to pray before bed always reminds me that she'll pray for me whenever I need it, like when I go off to college. She always prays before trips and goes to church every sunday morning with my grandpop. She is also a person that would loose her head if it weren't attached to her body so she taught me to pray to St. Anthony too.
From the episode of parenthood there were definitely some pros and cons seen about marriage today. A pro is that there are many more adoptions taking place now than there ever have been before. This gives children an opportunity to have a stable and healthy life with a study and strong home life that they would not have been able to have if they were to stay with their birth parents in certain situations. Other things that are becoming more prevalent on the other hand are teen pregnancies. This I'd say is a con because most teenagers are not mature or equipped enough to handle raising a child of their own. In order to be able to support a baby, teen moms have to either put them in day care, with parents, or stay home and not receive education. No matter which scenario happens, the baby is loosing a vital part of normal childhood.  While there are some exceptions, I think the vast majority of teen pregnancies leave babies with moms whose dads have abandoned them with no money, no high-school degree, and no way to raise a child on their own. In these cases I think there leaves little room for faith development because there are more prevailing issues such as food, clothes, and place to stay.
I believe the fact that people with a college degree are less likely to get divorced or married multiple times. I think this is partly attributed to the fact that people who go to college usually want to wait until they're graduated before they even think about marriage and kids. This is probably a reason why they are less likely to get divorced because they have had time to mature and almost get the "hooking-up" scene out of their system. By this time they are ready to settle down and find someone to build a life with instead of constantly seeking something new and different. I am hoping that this is the experience that I have because I definitely do not want to have to go through a divorce if I can avoid it. I want to make sure I'm ready for a marriage before I get myself into one, which means I want to wait until after medical school so that I can spend time making sure that my marriage is strong and growing. I will eventually want to build a domestic church I think. I want my kids to get the same level of education that I was lucky enough to receive and I want to make sure that faith is something that is always with them because I truly believe everything that happens to a person happens because God intended it to, even the hard stuff. I want to teach them that God wouldn't throw difficult things at you if he didn't know you could handle them so its just His way of making sure you know your own strength and own capacity to grow as a person.

Dating and Marriage

I do not think that I want a "me" marriage like the New York Times article talked about. While yes, I think it is could be an important part of marriage to have someone that offers financial security or something that makes individuals happy, I think it it even more important to have a relationship that makes both people happy. I think in order for a relationship to be healthy and strong, the people need to balance each other out and grow together. There also needs to be room to spend time with other people, but a healthy relationship cannot be only about two individuals instead of one couple. On the other hand, I agree with the article from the US Catholic Conference of Bishops. I want a relationship with commitment and communication. For me to be in a strong relationship, I need to be able talk to my husband so that we can solve our problems. We also need to be committed to each other so that even when we do fight, we can still come back together and fix what ever problem we have. All of these things are for the future for the most part. While these qualities are important for any relationships, I see these as essential for marriage. Right now, I'm not looking for a husband in whatever relationship I may become involved in. I do want to get married in the future, but I think it is really unlikely that I will find that person any time now. Also, I want to make sure that I am mature enough to enter into a committed relationship before I actually do. This is why I think going into a relationship thinking about marriage at my age is not smart. I think my intentions right now are more modern society than Christian because I'm not dating to get married. Even though I do want a relationship in the future that is more related to the Christian values, that is the future. This just means that right now I'm not ready for marriage-level commitment, but on that same token I'm not dating around and I don't want to be involved in completely meaningless relationships.

Why Dating?

I do not agree with the anti-daters position that dating is just practice for divorce. While not all relationships are destined for marriage, I think that dating in necessary to be able to survive in a long time relationship. If a person has never dated anyone before, there is no way they will know how to act or behave when married. Dating is meant to be a learning experience if done right. I understand where the anti-daters are developing their ideas from but I think that they are going a little overboard. While the culture in the world right now may not promote many healthy relationships, that does not mean that good relationships cannot exist. Another way that the anti-daters may have gotten their points from is the high divorce rate now. However, I do not think this is due to dating, I think this is due to a lack of dating. Because getting a divorce is so accessible to people now, I think people are more likely jump into a marriage they are not ready for instead of dating for a longer time and making sure they are right for each other.
I agree with Freitas and King about their view of the anti daters having a fear of or mistrust for others. I do not think that this is a good way to live your life. If someone is so mistrusting of others there is no way they are going to be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone in the future. I also like that they said that dating is an opportunity to care for people on a different level. I think that it really is important that people do date and work on being romantic because it teaches us good practices for the future. While most relationships do not end in marriage, they are great learning experiences and I believe are very important for people to be able to have successful marriages in the future.
I think the argument for the pro-daters is what is more compatible with myself and my peers. No one that I  know would agree with the anti-daters because dating is how we learn what a relationship is supposed to be. If we feel that something is missing from a relationship we are in currently, then we know what to look for in the future. I think that dating is so important for us now because it teaches us what to look for in a partner so that we know we will have a successful marriage.
I think the "hook-up culture" in colleges is a different story. This does not promote a healthy dating lifestyle because it makes people think that one night stands are ok. It devalues real relationships because it makes it seem that the same amount of physical intimacy can exist between two people who do not know each other very well as and two people who are in a committed relationship. The article on Busted Halo surprised me because of how people defined a hook-up. A majority of people interviewed said that a hook-up involved intercourse. This is a warped sense of how to behave in a relationship. The hook-up culture in college leads people to believe that this is normal and expected, but really it just makes it less special when people enter into and actual relationship.

Some say love...

When in a committed relationship, I would hope to have someone that is honest truly cares about me. I want to be with someone who I can be myself around and not have to worry about changing myself to be more compatible with them. If I an not be accepted for the person that I am, I do not think that relationship will be fulfilling or really have a chance to become a healthy, long term relationship. For example, Bruno Mars' song "Just the Way You Are" explains this perfectly. In the song he says, "When I see your face/There's not a thing that I would change/ cause girl you're amazing/ just the way you are." This is a quality I would like to have in my own relationships because I don't want to feel like I have to be someone I'm not to please someone else. 
Another thing that I want to have in a relationship is being able to know the other person inside and out. A line in Darius Rucker's song "Be Wary of a Woman" that I really like is “She'll make you laugh when you feel like crying." I think this is an ideal quality to have in a relationship because it shows that you care enough about the other person to not only not want to see them hurt, but also know them well enough to know how to help them. 
The next characteristic that I think is important is that love should be easy at times. Yes, there needs to be work put into it, but if there are constant fights then it can never be enjoyable. Maroon 5's song "Sunday Morning" exemplifies this perfectly. The lyrics are "That may be all I need/ In darkness, she is all I see/ Come and rest your bones with me/ Driving slow on Sunday morning/ And I never want to leave." I like these lyrics because they mean that in this relationship they don't need to do anything fancy; they can simply just enjoy each other's company and be happy. I also like the fact that these lyrics imply a relationship with longevity because he is basically saying he wants to grow old together. In  order for a relationship to work there needs to be a possibility for a future. 
A fourth element of love that I hope to experience is that my husband will always want to take care of me. This thinking may be old fashioned, but I don't think as a woman in this time we need to constantly be independent, while it is important that we can take care of ourselves. I don't necessarily want him to lay his life on the line for me, but at the same time I would want him to be concerned about my well-being and wanting to take care of me, and vice versa. A song that is a good example of this is "Parachute" by Train. Some of the lyrics are "I'll open up and be your parachute/ and I'll never let you down." I like this song because it really shows how when in a relationship people will do whatever possible to ensure that the other person is safe and happy.
Finally, love needs to be fun. In order for a relationship to last, it needs to be kept interesting and keep evolving as it grows. "Our Kind of Love" by Lady Antebellum describes this perfectly. The lyrics "What we got is just like driving on an open highway/ never knowing what were gonna find." I think the adventure aspect of loves needs to be present because if you can't enjoy experiencing new things with someone then life will become very monochromatic and boring. 
As far as the quest for a soul mate, I totally agree with the article's view. I believe it is true that people really don't know what to look for. It's impossible to find someone who can fulfill every single need in your life and it is also unhealthy. It is important to look for fulfillment in friends, family, and other acquaintances because it is completely unrealistic to expect to find it in one place. I think this gives people a warped perception of what to look for in a spouse. If someone is truly in love with someone, but does not feel that this person is their soul mate, they could potentially end a beautiful relationship based on such an abstract concept. I believe there is no real way to determine if people are soul mates or not. Because absolute perfection does not exist in this world, there is no way to find a Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. If we set our expectations too high by looking for perfection, we will constantly be disappointed and never be truly happy. Having flaws is what makes us humans. Being able to work together to over come these flaws is what makes a good relationship, not finding Mr. Perfect and living happily ever after because let's face it, that only happens to Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.

When I was growing up I don't think there were as many influences from the media as there are today, but there still were some. My favorite toys were Barbies and other kinds of dolls. All Barbies were typical tall, blonde, and beautiful which in some ways made me think that that was what beauty was meant to be. Also now that I look back at it, all the clothes that Barbie wears are short short and tiny tops. My parents both worked so I spent every weekday at my grandparents' house with my two cousins. My grandmom limited what we watched when it contained kids who would be considered "bratty" or rude. She turned off Rugrats because of Angelica and Arthur because of DW. She always said the reason was that she didn't want us to watch it is because she didn't want us to be exposed to people who were "talking back." I don't think my self-esteem has been affected too much by images but I do think my perception of the "norm" or average person in the world has been changed. From a young age, I've been shown that tall and airbrushed people are what the standard for beauty is. Now that I have grown up I know that it isn't the the true standard of beauty and I think going to an all-girls school has helped to make that realization. Mount has taught us to be independent women who don't have to let society hold us back. They have showed us that we are strong enough to handle the world and that we have a right to be successful.

Sources For My Identity

The first source that has affected my identity is my job as a waitress at Amedeo's in Norristown. Over the two years that I have worked here, I have changed a lot and also made many close friendships. This job has taught me discipline because there have been times when I have had to miss a concert or a trip to the shore because I could not get out of my shift. Also, it has made me more responsible with money because I now have to save my paychecks and pay for my own gas and clothes, whereas my parents used to pay for me. A third way that working has affected me is that it made me less shy. By talking to my favorite customers and coworkers, I have come out of the shell that I used to be in. It has been so fun working here over the past two years because I have made friendships with people that I probably never would have talked to had i not worked with them. One of my best friends Jess works with me at Amedeo's. We are completely different people, but have become really good friends. Overall, this job has made me more open-minded and outgoing and has definitely been a positive influence on me.

An experience that has affected my identity is the fire that destroyed my house in January. Now that life has settled down a lot and my family and I have finally gotten over it and are looking forward to moving into our new house by the end of the month, I really have had time to look back on how this experience has changed me. People have said to me that they are so sorry for my family that this tragedy happened to us, and while this was life-altering, it could have been much worse. I felt guilty for being upset about losing material things in my house while there are people in the country that are starving. In a way, i felt lucky that I even had a nice house and nice things to loose, rather than never having them at all. This experience has made me more courageous when facing problems because I know now that it really can be much worse. Additionally, my family and I received an overwhelming amount of support and help from friends, family, coworkers, the Mount, and even strangers. This has made me realize that people truly do care and want to help others in need. It was crazy for my family to think that so many people wanted to help us out and we really are so much better off because of the generosity we received. This experience really did make me appreciate the small things in life, be thankful for the gifts God has given me, and has taught me not to take advantage of anything that is given to me.


Deciding to go to Florida State University has also affected my identity. This decision was hard to make but now that I have decided I could not be happier. I was at first concerned about the distance and the fact that I do not know anyone else going to the school but now I realize that making this decision is an example of how my identity has changed. I am excited to go away, experience a different part of the country, and meet tons of new people I never would have met if I went elsewhere. Because I got into the Honors Program, I have the opportunity to participate in special events which will make my college experience that much more full. Although this decision is very different for me because I'm not usually the person who throws myself into something that I'm unfamiliar with and do not know anyone, I think this will end up being one of the best decisions I will make in my life. I believe that this will shape my identity in ways that I may not have experienced if I went somewhere local.